Prometheus is the story of a trillion-dollar mission to discover the origins of human life on a distant planet. Basically, this is supposed to be the greatest exploration undertaken in the history of mankind.
So who do they send? A gaggle of fractious goons whose collective scientific nous is rivalled only by that of the Three Stooges. Within minutes of touching down (conveniently beside the only ‘man-made’ structures on the planet, a’la 1960s Star Trek) the ‘scientists’ are yanking off their helmets, on the basis of ‘it seems fine to me’, dipping their fingers into strange organic ooze, and lugging a severed alien head back to an unquarantined spaceship in a sandwich bag.
Once there, they speedily discover the meaning of life. Then, while one of them gets a bit drunk, his two female companions decide it would be useful to stimulate the head electrically to reanimate it. They don’t say why. They give it a bit too much juice, then too little,then dither over too much or too little like a couple of schoolgirls fiddling with a dicky bunsen burner, while the most important scientific discovery in human history waggles its ears and rolls its eyes – before eventually blowing up like a frog in a microwave.
This is the first time I have been compelled to write a review on this site, mainly because most of my friends haven’t seen it yet and I just have to vent my feelings somewhere. But before I begin that cathartic release let me say that this is no way a bad movie. I never once had the urge to walk out and I expect I will watch it again some months down the line. I don’t feel the anger I experienced after Matrix 2 or Indy 4 but I certainly don’t have the buzz of having just watched a truly great movie.
Lets start with the storyline. I think anyone going to watch this is fully aware by now that this is q prequel to Alien, and trust me, you’ll have been slapped so hard in the face with this fact by the end of the film that your cheeks will be stinging. Time spent on plot background is over in a matter of seconds. If you’ve seen the trailers then you’ve pretty much seen the reason they’re off to another planet. From there the storyline follows the usual tried and tested Alien(s) method, i.e. They find stuff, it ain’t good and people start dying. What’s wrong with that? You cry. Nothing is wrong with that but from then on in in you can’t help yourself comparing it to the other two films. And that’s where the wheels start falling off.
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